What If
by Moonwolf898
Summary: In the final moments before Malak's Death, him and Revan exchange words and say their goodbyes.   Fem!Lightside Revan/Malak


"If our positions had been reversed…" Malak choked, coughing violently. It seemed to drag on and on as I helplessly watched, cradling the dying man in my arms. His face rested against my left shoulder, and every ragged breath sounded like a hurricane to me "Would I have been able… to do all the things you did?"

"That doesn't matter Malak. Nothing really matters now…" I whispered, pulling the broken body against my own. The cool metal of his robotic jaw sent shivers down my spine as my left hand brushed across its bracket along Malaks temple. "I should have tried harder… "

He shook his head weakly, clutching at his stomach where my lightsaber had pierced his flesh. "It's not your fault Revan. I was always the stubborn one."

My hand slid over his, covering the wound. Vainly I tried healing him, channelling the force through me into him. I could see the gentle shimmer around him, but as quickly as it appeared it faded back into nothing. A tear slid down my face as I shuddered, struggling to hold back the sobs that wracked my body "This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I can't still save you damn it!"

Wiping away the tear with his shaking hand, Malak smiled. I could tell, deep down inside I knew I could always tell when he smiled "That's my Revan… Never willing to admit defeat." He sighed, returning his gaze to the black stars out the main viewing window. Thankfully the battle had shifted to the other side of the Star Forage, leaving Malak and I alone in the great stations final hour "Do you remember when I lost my jaw?"

Images flooded back to me; memories that weren't entirely mine. I was being held by Mandalorians, separatists who were willing to torture Malak and I in order to get the information to win the battle. We had been foolish, let our guard down because we had thought the war was over. When torturing us separately had proved unsuccessful, they had tormented me in front of Malak to gain what they wanted. Be it sparked by rage or hate, Malak had snapped at them, shouting profanities the likes of which I had never heard.

They cut his jaw off to shut him up, and I had been so full of abhorrence I had broken the chains with the force and killed them all. One fell swoop and my guards where dead. Back then I had cradled his broken body and screamed for help. The other medics did come, and I had sobbed as they pulled him away.

Now there would be no medics. No help. No healing. Now there would be death. "I remember." My voice finally found its way past the lump in my throat. Malak closed his eyes and leaned his head against my neck, and I leaned my head onto his. Part of me could not believe this man had been seduced by the dark side, but that same part thought the same about me.

"If I ask you to remember one more thing, could you do that for me Revan, as my last request? It hurt to hear the pain in his voice. Even the mechanical alterations could not hide that, and I nodded. If I spoke now, it would lead to tears I was not ready to shed. "Don't remember me now, as a shell of a man. Or as a sith…" He coughed, and I shook along with his frail body as it began to grow cold "Will you remember me as we were on Coruscant? Young and foolish… but still ourselves... before all this mess."

"Malak…" I stammered. The celebrations that day had been grand. I remember it vividly… The council condemning us while the public cried out in joy. We had been caught between two worlds, but it had been exhilarating. That night… the final act of defiance against the Jedi as we became one… I knew we turned from the order's values then, but not to the dark side. That reason still eluded me. But now was not the time. "I loved you Malak. I loved you for standing up against the jedi. I loved you for saving so many innocents…"

He cut me off by moving his head slowly. His eyes were beginning to glass over, and under my hand his chests gentle rhythm began to slow. "Revan…" He started, so quietly I almost couldn't hear him over the thrum of the Star Forage "I love you. I always will."

As he closed his eyes and breathed his final breath, my lips parted. "I know." Where the final words I whispered to him. In my arms, his body finally went limp, and Malak was no more. Beneath me the ancient structure shuddered, and I heard the sounds of the space battle coming back like avalanche cascading over my head. I moved his body down, laying it gently against the cold metal. Leaving him with a final kiss on forehead, I stood up slowly.

With a heavy step, and then another, followed by a parade of lethargic strides I managed to make it to the turbolift.

"Goodbye Malak." I whispered, pressing the button that would take me down to the hanger.


End file.
